At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
