the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
