Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
