but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
