I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
