Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
