I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
