She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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