Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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