it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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