I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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