I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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