The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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