Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
