Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
