fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
