things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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