I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He passed out mid-signature
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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