There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
