he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
