Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
