i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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