I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
