maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
