WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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