We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
