if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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