actually, I'm a sock model
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Congratulations! We have a period
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