Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sorry my hands just texted you
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
