two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We left an ass print on the piano.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
