Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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