dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
