He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
