Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
