Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So many bounce houses so little time
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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