i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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