But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
