Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
