It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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