I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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