i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
