dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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