so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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