Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
