I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's official drugs can't kill me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
