I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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