i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
