I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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