I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
