Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
