when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
